You know, as I was writing my title, I realized that the last time I came back from a long hiatus from blogging, I named my first post after an Eminem song. Now I'm going even more old school to;with Mark Morrison. Clearly, when I think about writing, I think about rap, hip hop, and R&B. Interesting.
A couple of weeks ago, my brother-in-law, Patrick, called me. We talked about a lot of things, including my daughter, Brooklyn's decision to be baptized recently. Patrick is a mission-minded Christian with his eyes always on others and how to serve. When he called me, he said that God wanted him to encourage me to go not give up on the passions of my childhood.
No one has every really called me up to say, hey, I think God wants me to tell you something, but I certainly believe that it's possible. Once, a few years ago, one of my students' mom's died. Not long after, I had a dream about her mom in a field of flowers, walking down a hill. I had never met her mom. I didn't know what she looked like. Still, in my dream, I knew this was her mom. So, I told my student about this dream of mine. Why not, right? Long story short, she believed that I had actually seen her mother in my dream, and that this was God's way of telling her not to be sad, to believe that her mom was in a better place. Point being, when it comes to people I know delivering messages they feel are from God, I'll buy it. Weirder things have happened.
As I listened to Patrick continue, he mentioned that he has a friend who works in the Christian film industry, and how he would love to get us together and talk. I stumbled over my next words a bit, because his words sounded so foreign. Film? Why was he talking about film? Oh, right. When he and I first met, I wanted to be a director. I had at one point planned to attend film school at USC. After all, movies are my thing. I married a guy who keeps track of how many movies we've watched together, when, where, and who with. It serves as a history for our entire relationship. We just build a home theater in our new house. We own every Academy Award Best Picture. We watched every single Disney animated classic in order, reviewing every one, before we left for a trip to Walt Disney World. We have over 800 movies and served as a makeshift rental service for friends and neighbors in college. Our little storefront apartment even had a name: B and T DVD. It didn't cost anything to rent from us, but you had to write your name and what you took in our rental log, or else we'd never remember where our films went. MOVIES ARE MY THING.
Still, when Patrick talked about my childhood passions and film in the same breath, I realized how wrong it was. I may have always had a love for movies, but the instant I thought about a childhood passion to continue pursuing, it wasn't film: it was writing.
When I was in 4th grade, we had an assignment to write an autobiography. It was to be truth up until 4th grade and then a prediction of what the rest of life would be like from there. It was pretty clear where reality ended and fantasy began in my tale. My fourth-grade self predicted that I would be an unmarried graduate of the University of Alabama with two adopted children. I was going to be a successful children's author, then a 60-ish-year-old alternative radio DJ, then someone who went to jail for murder (but it was totally self-defense and my kids busted me out of jail and explained the misunderstanding to the judge, so it's all good).
My childhood passion is writing. It's still my passion. But I see others who are better at it than me, and get discouraged. I let life get to me, and I become depressed and stay silent. I tell mini-stories on Facebook and people encourage me to write stories about my children, who bring hilarity into my life daily. I listen, get writer's block, believe the lie that no one will want to read what I want. Who will care? Other times, I think about getting back into blogging and get scared. What if I run out of stories? What if I tell them all online and then want to write a book but there's nothing left to say?
And yet, my childhood passion is writing. And God is telling me not to give up on my childhood passion.
So, it's the return of the mack. With hopefully lots more to come.