Monday, April 1, 2013

The Vomit Strikes Back

I recently found my friend Katie's blog and read her entry about running a 5k or half marathon, I forget which. She wrote about a "runner's high" that she gets where she just gets into a rhythm and everything feels amazing.

I, on the other hand, think the phrase "runner's high" isn't describing a possessive but rather is just a contraction, as in "the runner is high",  because you must be on drugs if you enjoy it.

A bit much? Yeah, okay you're right. But I still think, for me, there's not much worse in the world than running. The aching sides, the awkward boob up-and-downage, the fact that you have to wear tennis shoes (not a fan), the shock wave to the knees every time you step, the sweat, the exhaustion, the desire to die...

In case you hadn't noticed, I returned to my workout tonight. I was waiting until I was over my cold so I could handle it. Too bad I forgot about that 1-2 day period when you just think you're well but there's still a lot of germs fighting under the surface that only rear their ugly heads when you get all worked up.

The phrase "pain is weakness leaving the body" came to mind. I laughed thinking how weak I must be if that adage is true. So much much weakness. It also reminded me of those old "No Fear" shirts that everyone had in elementary and middle school and made me realize that I am the very definition of "All Fear". I am afraid of all things sweaty and difficult.

Which brings me to this:

Me: *vomit noises*
Brandon: I'm sorry that working out makes you throw up.
Me: Doesn't everybody?
Brandon: Some people do. That's why they have trash cans in weight rooms.
Me: You know that feeling when you're not just sore and worn out but really actually tired when you're working out...
Brandon: Yep.
Me: ...and then you're so exhausted that you start to almost fall asleep during your work out so you yawn and then feel like you have to throw up at the same time, so you run to the sink but all you end up doing is yawning?
Brandon: No... I understood the first part, but I can't say the same for the second.
Me: No?
Brandon: No, I have never wanted to vomit and go to sleep at the same time.

We have fun talks.

So a couple of executive decisions have been made:

1)Brandon says I should do jumps on all hopping exercises on my game. Even with shoes on (ha, ha...) I turn my ankle every time I try to hop. Weak sauce. So, I won't get all the right points, but I don't play online and compete with friends, so the points don't matter. I'm just trying to burn calories and get lean. I look forward to not needing crutches.

and 2)Once I have lost my desired weight, I will not run ever again.You say, oh come on, it's not so bad, you'll get used to it. I say, why would I ever want to get used to this? You say, no, Tracey, that's impossible. There will be some event in life that will make you run, you'll run someday. I say, WATCH ME. Stubborn, spunky, persistent. I feel like we've covered this already. I know this is the best way to lose weight, and once it's lost, I'm done. There are plenty of others ways to exercise that don't make me lose half my supper.

I'm hoping to have something more positive to say the next time I write about exercise. My next routine is another fitness assessment, or rather a repeat of the one I took 4 weeks ago. We'll see how much I've improved, which will hopefully fuel me to keep going and not make me cry.

Or vomit.

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