Monday, March 26, 2012

Kitchen Woes

I don't know what I'm doing in the kitchen. I get take out for friends when they have babies. I consider putting a pizza in the oven "cooking dinner". I make excuses like "it's hard to cook for just two people" (Brooklyn doesn't eat half of what we do anyway, so she doesn't count yet), or "Brandon's never home at dinner time anyway"... truth is I just don't know my way around a kitchen. This is especially sad since our kitchen is probably 50 square feet and has a combined total of 7 small cabinets.

I got a food processor for Christmas, and I was thrilled about it! Not that I was going to be making natural and organic baby food like some of my awesome mommy friends do, or that I'm going to be following Jessica Seinfeld's "Deceptively Delicious" cookbook by putting pureed vegetables into regular meals... I would, you see, but we're cheap and veggies are expensive. Bad excuse, but it's the only one I've got.

Mainly, I was excited for my food processor to make sausage balls. Sausage balls were a breakfast staple in our house growing up. Special occasions, holidays, and Saturdays when my mom was in a good mood were given days to have something delicious like cinnamon rolls or sausage balls. Kirby loves sausage balls so much that he put them on his Christmas list one year. And when it comes to making these browned balls of goodness, one really needs a food processor or you can't make then round and perfectly even.

Of course, maybe if I am trying to be a good housewife I should stop acting like a man and read the directions of a kitchen appliance before I try to use it. Had I done that, I would not have discovered that you can use a food processor to also make whipped sausage. Yes, that's right. Imagine the consistency of the fluffiest frosting, and then add the taste of meat. Have you ever heard of anything so disgusting? Just another t*stro creation.

True, I fixed my mistake and enjoyed a delicious breakfast, but there are some NASTY dishes waiting to be cleaned in my sink that is too small to clean them in.

Being a wife can be hard. So can being a mom. I think being a cook is hardest of all.

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