Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Cat Detectives

A few weeks ago there was another hoard of people tramping their way up the stairs to our murderous, drug dealing neighbors (all conjectures, by the way... we have zero proof, just a lot of fun conspiracy built up since August). Once it started sounding like they were practicing for the stomp team, we finally had enough.

Since we're total wimps, however, instead of knocking on the door and telling them to SHUT UP, we hired our cats as private eyes.

You heard me.

Rather, you read me.

Walk around an apartment complex and it's easy to spot those people who own cats. Their blinds are up at least 6 inches to prevent broken blades. Also, there's usually a cat sitting in the window watching everything that happens around them. Our cats are no different.

Brandon has this genius idea that since they're such voyeurs anyway, we may as well ask them what's going on. The following instruction actually happened:

Brandon: Ok Sasha, here's what we're gonna do. You know you're not allowed outside anymore, but we're going to make an exception. We're gonna let you go explore. Walk up the stairs and wait until someone comes outside. Then you're gonna sneak into the apartment and hide out. Listen to their conversations and if you're feeling really brave, walk around and try to see if you can find anything before they notice you and kick you out. Little Bit- you act as a lookout. Keep your eyes open for any dangerous criminals about to head Sasha's way.

Our neighbors are gone.

I'm not kidding. They moved.

I feel like pinning badges of honor onto our cats right now! Sure, it's just coincidence. Or is it? We're always saying animals are smarter than we give them credit for. Little Bit can open doors. Sasha does love Brandon a whole lot and pretty much does whatever he says. I think there's a legitimate chance that while I was out shopping one day, our cat detectives went to work.

The only downside to all of this is what they want in payment. I'm embarrassed to even admit it, but... I'm letting them sleep with us. For as long as they want. I feel we owe it to them. We're living in peace now, not in fear of our lives, our clean neighborhood going to waste or of a barkless dog (yeah, we finally figured out they probably had one of those. Beyond creepy).

On the other three sides of us we have a cop, a set of grandparents, and two more cops.

Tune in next week when the cat detectives travel to the corner to take on the potheads.

Name that driving cat! (Photo from windingroad.com)

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