Wednesday, August 31, 2011

"Goodbye Boys"

Brandon is all geared up for Fantasy Football to begin. He has been in the same league with the same  core group of 8 guys and another 4 that rotate in and out for the past 6 years. Yesterday he posted "A History of the League" on their group's Yahoo homepage. This is the manly version of blogging- writing stories to fellow men in an all men group, and the stories must revolve around manly things like chest hair and football.

Their league has not been without controversy. I volunteered to play Fantasy Football with them in 2009 when they needed 1 more to get to 12 players. They took a vote as to whether or not I was allowed in... Because I'm a woman. Nevermind that I have played Fantasy Baseball with half of these guys since 2007, oh no. Not football though. Football is for men. Fantasy football, apparently, even more so. I lost on a close count of 6-5. I would say I'm not bitter, but my mom taught me not to lie.

 For those who don't know, Fantasy Baseball is where you create your own team of players that really play in the major leagues. For example, Jason Heyward and Brian McCann both play for the Atlanta Braves in real life, but in our Fantasy Baseball league, they got drafted by and play for "Jeff George Fan Club" and "B-Stro's Big Balls" respectively. Myself and 11 guys face our imaginary teams off each week and earn points based on items like hits, homeruns, and strikeouts thrown.



Since Brooklyn was born I've had a hard time keeping up with certain things; Fantasy Baseball is one of them. Last year, I won 3rd place overall. For the chauvinists- *tongue out* haha. I beat 9 boys. Including my husband. This year though I can't even remember to sign in and make sure I have starting pitchers in the right spot. Instead, I find myself placing importance on things like cooking, making the bed, washing clothes...

I used to be such a tomboy. I even remember arguments with Kerie Sorrells and Rebecca Holland over which one of us was the MOST tomboyish. I also remember the day Jillian Prado decided she was a tomboy too. Our retort? "No you're not- you wear yellow". Because, as all 4th graders know, yellow is a girly color.

I'm 25, and finally leaving my tomboy ways behind. In honor of this, enjoy my re-write of Margaret Wise Brown's classic children's story, "Goodnight Moon".

In a room full of toys
there was a computer
and a woman of poise
who was remembering--

her time with the boys.
Then there were dangerous games, which sometimes involved flames
And pants but no dresses, and very short tresses.
And pizzas and chocolates that made for sticky pockets
And a real life frog and playtime in the bog
And fighting and biting and someone would hurl.
But now I must start to act like a girl.

Goodbye toys.
Goodbye boys.
Goodbye loud laughs with the boys.
Hello poise and new feminine joys.
Goodbye games, good riddance flames.
Hello dresses, hello tresses.
Goodbye frog, goodbye bog.
Goodbye fighting, and goodbye biting.
Goodbye making someone hurl.
I think now I'm ready to act like a girl.

Goodnight friends, take good care.
Goodnight tomboys everywhere.


***
Though, truth be told, it's not all out of my system. College football in T minus 1 day!!!

1 comment:

  1. That's really cute! I love your Goodnight Boys story!

    ReplyDelete